Florence Grace's New Rules On Sex...

Yesterday, a trending Twitter moment really caught my eye - "Amber Davies new rules on sex", in collaboration with BBC Radio 5 Live. And from Rule 1, I knew we were on a downwards slope. If you missed the moment, don't worry - here is a list of Amber's 'new rules' for sex:

1. No sex on the first date. "If you don't know the person, don't have sex with the person. It's all about self respect".
2. If there is alcohol involved, ask yourself if you're going to regret this in the morning. Because when you're under the influence of alcohol, you're a lot more vulnerable.
3. Don't think sex is to impress. Amber thinks females and males would be a lot more impressed if you don't put out on the first date.
4. We are absolutely binning the saying "no strings attached" or "friends with benefits". Amber says us females, we all know we get emotionally attached after sex so if you don't want to get hurt don't do it. 
5. Don't follow the crowd. Just because sex has become so casual these days doesn't mean you have to do it, so stand up for yourself. 

I have one word in response to these rules:

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

Girl, please. What the hell?

First of all, this is coming from a young woman who had sex on live TV when she appeared on Love Island (or so I'm told, anyway - I don't watch that show, it's utter trash) so if she wants to tell people they don't have self respect... well, I won't comment because I for one don't judge people and their sex lives but girl, what you thinking? Secondly, who on earth is ANYONE to tell anyone else how they should be having sex? 

You might think I'm hypocritical, given the title of this post and the fact that I'm about to give you my own new rules on sex, but hear me out, because there's actually only one rule, and that's this:

Ignore Amber's rules and have sex with whoever you want, whenever you want, wherever you want and however you want as long as all parties are consenting. 

It's as simple as that!

If you want to have sex with someone you love, great. If you want to have sex with someone you just met, great. If you want to have sex whilst drunk, yolo! If you only want to have sex sober, you do you! Sex is a very personal choice and the only important thing at the end of the day is that both parties are consenting. You shouldn't let anybody dictate to you how you should be having sex. Casual sex, serious sex, one time sex, on and off sex - whatever works for you and the other person, whatever makes you and the other person happy, great. Don't let some low-list 'celeb' dictate rules for sex that are, quite frankly, shaming towards other people and shouldn't be listened to at all. 

I'd love to defend that some of her points are quite valid - don't have sex to impress (unless you want to, of course) and don't follow the crowd are both quite worthwhile points but the way she backed them up with reasoning that just shames people is not okay! Talking about self respect being lost if you have sex on the first date, about not putting out straight away to impress people... it's all just trash talk and it should just be ignored. 

Self respect has no correlation with your sexual status at all. Repeat that to yourself as often as you like, no one should treat you like less of a person because of your sexual choices - they just shouldn't, and if they do, the problem is with them and not with you! 

Do what you want when it comes to sex, as long as all parties are giving full and clear consent. Within the confines of that relationship, be it for one night or longer, a permanent one or a temporary one, create your own rules and have sex in a way that works for you and the person you're having sex with - that's literally the only rule you should stick to. 

Love from,

Florence Grace