Anti Bullying Week- my story.
When I woke up today, I noticed one of the trends on Twitter, "Anti Bullying Week".
Bullying is an issue that is very close to my heart. I think of myself as a pretty strong person, I have a sharp tongue when need's be, like to be in charge and am *maybe* a little bit bossy. I can hold my hands up and say that in any scenario, I would probably be a bully rather than someone who was bullied. It may not sound like a nice thing to admit, and it's not because I'm a horrible person, but rather because I feel like my characteristics do not emulate that of a "victim".
Yet three times in my life I have been the victim of bullying. One, tame incident when I was about nine years old, one more serious incident when I was twelve and one far more serious incident that started when I was fifteen and still has an impact on my life now. If anything, this told me that anyone can be a victim at any time in their life, regardless of what characteristics they have.
When I was nine, the incident was not so serious. It lasted for a few weeks, if that. I decided that I no longer wanted to be friends with my "best friend". She was spiteful, mean and called me a "cow" in the girls bathroom. I was having none of it and went straight to my teacher- who sent me to the headteacher. Now, I was not a teacher's pet at school, but I was popular with teachers, I got good grades and they all liked me. This probably helped my case but they managed to sort the problem quickly, nipping it in the bud and bar from a few evil looks, the girl never bothered me again.
When I was twelve, it was a bit more serious. I was in my first year of secondary school, and my primary school had a friendship scheme, putting at least three people from the same school into each secondary school class to make things easier. I was lucky, I was placed in the same class as my very best friend! Then there were two other girls who I didn't know so well, but could say hello to. Unfortunately, my best friend moved away and didn't make the transition to secondary school with me. Because we were from the same primary, me and the other two girls got lumped together and became "best friends". To cut a long story short, one was evidently a third wheel, and made my life very awkward because of it, even getting her older sister and her older friends to come and "have words" with me. Me and my mum went into the school and, again, the teachers liked me and asked what I wanted to happen. I said I wanted her moved from my class and never to speak to me again...and they did just that. They removed her from my class and she never spoke to me again. I was very, very lucky.
The third and final incident of bullying was the worst and has- in a way- ruined my life forever. It started when I was fifteen, lasting until I was nineteen and occasionally happens to me still now. It's knocked my confidence, if I see anybody from my old school I break out in a cold sweat and feel sick, and if I have to meet anyone on a social scenario (e.g. serving them at work, which happens more often than I would like) I wish nothing more than for the ground to swallow me up. This bullying was never physical- I somehow think it was worse. This bullying was by a huge number of people- my block list tells me 250- all from school, in my year, the year below and from other school, even including some people who didn't know me, who used social media to humiliate me, laugh at me and make jokes at my expense.
Yes, I can admit that at 15 and 16 I made some stupid tweets, I over shared personal details about arguments with my boyfriends and did many, silly "indirect" tweets. But the bullying started before that. People I believed were my friends were using twitter, before I had it, to bitch about me. When I joined twitter, people tweeted things such as "oh no, the downfall of twitter" and "where can we bitch now?". I couldn't believe it. But it only got worse. Everything I tweeted was screenshot, shared around and had hundreds- literally, hundreds- of people favouriting, retweeting and laughing at me. When I started blogging, they pulled apart my work. They made fun of my relationship, how I dressed, things I said, what I posted, how I captioned photos. They picked my life apart online for all the world to see and still to this day don't see how they did anything wrong. I see them face to face and they either blank me or smile and say hi like nothing happened. Some people message me, confused as to why I've blocked them on social media.
If you favourited, retweeted or replied to any of the comments on twitter or facebook, or worse still participated in writing something, you're not my friend and that is why you are blocked. Is it that hard to understand?
Now, at twenty, I'm living with the effects of this humiliation every single day. I don't have much confidence, I find it hard to make friends and I trust no one. If I didn't have the support of my mum and my boyfriend throughout the ordeal I hate to think what would have happened.
Bullying can happen to anyone, at any time. I used to be pretty popular at school, I was friends with most people, went to all the parties, to town every weekend and after school. I don't know what happened to change all of that, or who initiated the online bullying, but it's had a severe knock on my self esteem and the person that I am today.
What I want to say to victims of bullying is that it does get better. Whilst I still live with the after effects of it, I have still come out stronger. And whilst one of my bullies is working in Mcdonalds, another has no job at all and everyone else is just getting on in life, I am building an empire for myself, running my own magazine, working in the media industry and doing so many other incredible things. Bullies try to ruin your life but never let them. It's easier said than done, believe me, I know, but once you make it through, it's totally worth it. The online world has a block button for a reason, so don't be afraid to use it. At school, if you're that scared, find safety in the library or a classroom with a teacher so you don't have to face seeing the bullies at break or lunch. Tell teachers and parents, or your friends what's going on too, never keep it to yourself. Bullies are sad, hurting and angry. They take their insecurities out on other people, and it's wrong. Don't let it overcome you though. Don't let it end your life, destroy your relationships or cause harm to yourself. It's so tough to get through but you can do it. You can, you can, you can.
Bullies never win. It's important to remember that.
Love from,
Florence Grace
My emails are always open if anyone needs to talk- florencegrace13@gmail.com or find me on Twitter and have a chat. Never keep things like this to yourself.
Bullying is an issue that is very close to my heart. I think of myself as a pretty strong person, I have a sharp tongue when need's be, like to be in charge and am *maybe* a little bit bossy. I can hold my hands up and say that in any scenario, I would probably be a bully rather than someone who was bullied. It may not sound like a nice thing to admit, and it's not because I'm a horrible person, but rather because I feel like my characteristics do not emulate that of a "victim".
Yet three times in my life I have been the victim of bullying. One, tame incident when I was about nine years old, one more serious incident when I was twelve and one far more serious incident that started when I was fifteen and still has an impact on my life now. If anything, this told me that anyone can be a victim at any time in their life, regardless of what characteristics they have.
When I was nine, the incident was not so serious. It lasted for a few weeks, if that. I decided that I no longer wanted to be friends with my "best friend". She was spiteful, mean and called me a "cow" in the girls bathroom. I was having none of it and went straight to my teacher- who sent me to the headteacher. Now, I was not a teacher's pet at school, but I was popular with teachers, I got good grades and they all liked me. This probably helped my case but they managed to sort the problem quickly, nipping it in the bud and bar from a few evil looks, the girl never bothered me again.
When I was twelve, it was a bit more serious. I was in my first year of secondary school, and my primary school had a friendship scheme, putting at least three people from the same school into each secondary school class to make things easier. I was lucky, I was placed in the same class as my very best friend! Then there were two other girls who I didn't know so well, but could say hello to. Unfortunately, my best friend moved away and didn't make the transition to secondary school with me. Because we were from the same primary, me and the other two girls got lumped together and became "best friends". To cut a long story short, one was evidently a third wheel, and made my life very awkward because of it, even getting her older sister and her older friends to come and "have words" with me. Me and my mum went into the school and, again, the teachers liked me and asked what I wanted to happen. I said I wanted her moved from my class and never to speak to me again...and they did just that. They removed her from my class and she never spoke to me again. I was very, very lucky.
The third and final incident of bullying was the worst and has- in a way- ruined my life forever. It started when I was fifteen, lasting until I was nineteen and occasionally happens to me still now. It's knocked my confidence, if I see anybody from my old school I break out in a cold sweat and feel sick, and if I have to meet anyone on a social scenario (e.g. serving them at work, which happens more often than I would like) I wish nothing more than for the ground to swallow me up. This bullying was never physical- I somehow think it was worse. This bullying was by a huge number of people- my block list tells me 250- all from school, in my year, the year below and from other school, even including some people who didn't know me, who used social media to humiliate me, laugh at me and make jokes at my expense.
Yes, I can admit that at 15 and 16 I made some stupid tweets, I over shared personal details about arguments with my boyfriends and did many, silly "indirect" tweets. But the bullying started before that. People I believed were my friends were using twitter, before I had it, to bitch about me. When I joined twitter, people tweeted things such as "oh no, the downfall of twitter" and "where can we bitch now?". I couldn't believe it. But it only got worse. Everything I tweeted was screenshot, shared around and had hundreds- literally, hundreds- of people favouriting, retweeting and laughing at me. When I started blogging, they pulled apart my work. They made fun of my relationship, how I dressed, things I said, what I posted, how I captioned photos. They picked my life apart online for all the world to see and still to this day don't see how they did anything wrong. I see them face to face and they either blank me or smile and say hi like nothing happened. Some people message me, confused as to why I've blocked them on social media.
If you favourited, retweeted or replied to any of the comments on twitter or facebook, or worse still participated in writing something, you're not my friend and that is why you are blocked. Is it that hard to understand?
Now, at twenty, I'm living with the effects of this humiliation every single day. I don't have much confidence, I find it hard to make friends and I trust no one. If I didn't have the support of my mum and my boyfriend throughout the ordeal I hate to think what would have happened.
Bullying can happen to anyone, at any time. I used to be pretty popular at school, I was friends with most people, went to all the parties, to town every weekend and after school. I don't know what happened to change all of that, or who initiated the online bullying, but it's had a severe knock on my self esteem and the person that I am today.
What I want to say to victims of bullying is that it does get better. Whilst I still live with the after effects of it, I have still come out stronger. And whilst one of my bullies is working in Mcdonalds, another has no job at all and everyone else is just getting on in life, I am building an empire for myself, running my own magazine, working in the media industry and doing so many other incredible things. Bullies try to ruin your life but never let them. It's easier said than done, believe me, I know, but once you make it through, it's totally worth it. The online world has a block button for a reason, so don't be afraid to use it. At school, if you're that scared, find safety in the library or a classroom with a teacher so you don't have to face seeing the bullies at break or lunch. Tell teachers and parents, or your friends what's going on too, never keep it to yourself. Bullies are sad, hurting and angry. They take their insecurities out on other people, and it's wrong. Don't let it overcome you though. Don't let it end your life, destroy your relationships or cause harm to yourself. It's so tough to get through but you can do it. You can, you can, you can.
Bullies never win. It's important to remember that.
Love from,
Florence Grace
My emails are always open if anyone needs to talk- florencegrace13@gmail.com or find me on Twitter and have a chat. Never keep things like this to yourself.
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