Quality, not quantity

Since I have been old enough to understand what it means, the phrase ‘quality, not quantity’ is something that I have always lived by (unless we’re talking about alcohol, because it doesn’t matter about the quality of what you’re drinking, if you drink enough of it you still get drunk)

In recent years, and more specifically in the last two years, the phrase ‘quality, not quantity’ has been applied to the people in my life. Growing up, it’s drilled into us that in order to feel loved and to be happy with your life you must be surrounded by a tonne of people.  Books, TV shows, movies and other elements of pop culture all tell us that if you don’t have many friends then you’re a ‘loser’ or an ‘outcast’.

It’s time to stop this way of thinking, and start believing in quality, not quantity instead!

Society has made us feel like we have to surround ourselves with as many people as possible to be happy, and this has caused us to feel its okay to create fake friendships, to have false intentions towards other people just to keep them around us so we appear ‘popular’, and honestly I can’t help but wonder, what’s the point? Wouldn’t you rather be surrounded by less people, but people who actually genuinely love and care about you? I know I would- because I know it’s important to choose quality, not quantity.

  

When I was younger, I had a lot of friends- and with these friends came arguments, bitchiness and backstabbing. There’s no denying that being surrounded by a large group of friends, particularly when its dominated by females, is pretty gruelling work. And while I’m definitely speaking from personal experience, I know from having had plenty of conversations with other people about this that I am not alone in my feelings.

The older I have become, the less I have tolerated bullshit behaviours and attitudes from people claiming to be my ‘friend’, and the easier it has become to cut people off who no longer add any positivity to my life. No, I don’t have over 1,000 friends on Facebook anymore (why was I so proud of this?) and no I don’t get invited to a party every weekend anymore. No, I don’t get an abundance of people begging to see me or make plans. But do you know what I do have instead?

Real friends.

I can count my real friends on both hands, and I like it that way. I know I can trust them all, I know they all love me unconditionally as I do them, and I know they’re dependable, genuine and just nice. There’s no backstabbing, no bitching, no arguing. Everything’s easy, the way it should be in a real friendship. While I have less friends now, they’re the most top quality friends I’ve ever been lucky enough to call my own.

In terms of relationships and friendships, ‘quality, not quantity’ can also be applied to the length of time you’ve known someone. I have friends I’ve known for a handful of months who have better intentions for me than someone I’ve known for years and years. Time is just a number, it means nothing. It’s quality, not quantity.

I think when it comes to friendships and relationships with other people, it’s important to remember that there are different levels to them, too. You don’t ever have just ‘friends’, so don’t feel bad about having 5 friends, for example. You’ll nearly always have your best friends, then your close friends, other friends, work friends and then acquaintances. There’s probably more people in your life than you would first think, so don’t ever feel like you’re totally alone- you definitely aren’t. However, no matter how many people you have around you, be it 10, 20 or 50, maybe even more, you should never let the level of quality you look for in a person waiver. Always surround yourself with best friends, close friends, colleagues and acquaintances of the highest quality. You don’t deserve any less than that.

I recently wrote about how your vibe attracts your tribe, and how your tribe also creates your vibe, and that ties in quite nicely here. Whether you think it or not, the vibe of the people you surround yourself with will rub off on you- so it’s important that you surround yourself with the best people possible, who’s values in life match your own, who life you up and make you better, who support you and inspire you and who aren’t afraid to be real with you, no matter what you’re going through.

My group of friends might be small, but I couldn’t fault a single one of them.

Quality, not quantity.  Remember that.

Love from,

Florence Grace