The Ultimate Glow Up
On Wednesday (1st November) I turned 22!
Eeeeeek. That sounds so old in my head! 21 seems like an age where it's still seen as acceptable to be a little wild, a little out of control, a bit of a party animal. 22- in my head, at least- sees so much older, so much more mature. I feel like I actually have to start being a responsible adult now, and like I need to start getting my shit together (for lack of better terminology!).
As with all birthdays, I did spend some time surrounding my 22nd birthday reflecting on the kind of year I'd had being 21, and the kind of things that being 21 had brought to me and my life. I feel like I say this most years, but I genuinely feel like 21 was my best year yet. Honestly, this year has shaped me like no other. When I was 20, life turned into a learning curve for me. I was experiencing things I wasn't used to, dealing with emotional turmoil that sent me to breaking point that I felt like I would never bounce back from and so, for the most part, being 20 was all about dealing with that. It was about recovery, it was about building myself up from the bottom and it was about rebuilding almost my entire life and starting over again.
21 was the ultimate glow up. By the time I reached my 21st birthday, I was pretty much unrecognisable to most people. I mean, for the most part I physically looked the same (aside from the weight loss and the new found love for makeup and fashion), but as I person, I was totally different. I was better. I then spent the next 365 days in total bliss; I was happier than I've ever been, I had learnt to love myself and really was in such a good place, mentally, physically and emotionally. My life was at it's peak and was honestly the best it had ever been.
I achieved so much whilst I was 21 too. Not only did I accomplish so many 'small' achievements myself, like learning to love myself completely, or reaching inner peace with demons I had been battling for some time, but I also achieved some bigger things too- I landed my first 'proper' job and kickstarted my brand new career as a Communications Officer. I did more work with 4Music. I began working in collaboration with one of my favourite brands of all time, Elegant Touch. I had more freelance work, brand collaborations and sponsored posts on my blog than ever before. I interviewed Radio 1 DJ Gemma Cairney for my little magazine, Love from... magazine. Finally, I finished off being 21 by speaking at an event as a 'successful business woman', alongside one of my heros, Remel London. This was such a huge achievement for me and I felt so honoured.
So yeah...21 was pretty great. It was the exact kind of year I needed, because it was all about me. Every damn day was about me. Doing what I needed to do, doing things that benefited no one but me. 21 was my year of being selfish. 21 was the year I made myself happy. And I honestly think that the end result by 22 was incredible. I really am the best version of myself that I have ever been- and I think the fact that in the last couple of weeks leading up to my 22nd birthday I heard on almost a daily basis that I was 'glowing' and 'gleaming' with happiness speaks volumes.
Eeeeeek. That sounds so old in my head! 21 seems like an age where it's still seen as acceptable to be a little wild, a little out of control, a bit of a party animal. 22- in my head, at least- sees so much older, so much more mature. I feel like I actually have to start being a responsible adult now, and like I need to start getting my shit together (for lack of better terminology!).
As with all birthdays, I did spend some time surrounding my 22nd birthday reflecting on the kind of year I'd had being 21, and the kind of things that being 21 had brought to me and my life. I feel like I say this most years, but I genuinely feel like 21 was my best year yet. Honestly, this year has shaped me like no other. When I was 20, life turned into a learning curve for me. I was experiencing things I wasn't used to, dealing with emotional turmoil that sent me to breaking point that I felt like I would never bounce back from and so, for the most part, being 20 was all about dealing with that. It was about recovery, it was about building myself up from the bottom and it was about rebuilding almost my entire life and starting over again.
"You've got to have the bad days so that you can love the good days more"
21 was the ultimate glow up. By the time I reached my 21st birthday, I was pretty much unrecognisable to most people. I mean, for the most part I physically looked the same (aside from the weight loss and the new found love for makeup and fashion), but as I person, I was totally different. I was better. I then spent the next 365 days in total bliss; I was happier than I've ever been, I had learnt to love myself and really was in such a good place, mentally, physically and emotionally. My life was at it's peak and was honestly the best it had ever been.
I achieved so much whilst I was 21 too. Not only did I accomplish so many 'small' achievements myself, like learning to love myself completely, or reaching inner peace with demons I had been battling for some time, but I also achieved some bigger things too- I landed my first 'proper' job and kickstarted my brand new career as a Communications Officer. I did more work with 4Music. I began working in collaboration with one of my favourite brands of all time, Elegant Touch. I had more freelance work, brand collaborations and sponsored posts on my blog than ever before. I interviewed Radio 1 DJ Gemma Cairney for my little magazine, Love from... magazine. Finally, I finished off being 21 by speaking at an event as a 'successful business woman', alongside one of my heros, Remel London. This was such a huge achievement for me and I felt so honoured.
So yeah...21 was pretty great. It was the exact kind of year I needed, because it was all about me. Every damn day was about me. Doing what I needed to do, doing things that benefited no one but me. 21 was my year of being selfish. 21 was the year I made myself happy. And I honestly think that the end result by 22 was incredible. I really am the best version of myself that I have ever been- and I think the fact that in the last couple of weeks leading up to my 22nd birthday I heard on almost a daily basis that I was 'glowing' and 'gleaming' with happiness speaks volumes.
"You lose a lot of people when you're focusing on yourself. Don't feel sorry for evolving"
Of course, there were other highlights that contributed to my ultimate glow up while I was 21. One of these is definitely due to the fact that I cut off so many people. And I mean, loads. Some of them not all by my choice, but all of them turned out to be for the better. I actually cut off almost everyone I had previously considered a 'best friend' when I realised I was just surrounded by so much toxicity. The people you surround yourself with really do matter- in fact, studies suggest you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with! So it's always important to make sure you're surrounded by nothing but the best, and I have to give some credit to the fact that I'm so God damn happy all of the time to my friends. I've still got my ride or die girls, Poppy, Abs and Bobbie, as well as my other brilliant pals, Lauren, Dee, Tiff and Cal. But now, I have some brand new people in my life as well- I don't need to list them all out, because they know who they are. But I can confidently say that I'm currently surrounded by the most wonderful, lovely, considerate, mature, thoughtful and just generally great people I have ever had in my life and I feel incredibly fortunate.
"Become so filled with happiness that it heals every part of you"
My career is going great. All my writing, my blogging, my Communications job- it's all just going pretty much exactly where I want it too. I've also got some exciting projects on the horizon for 22 so that's all to come, which I'm really looking forward to. There's going to be two brand new ventures from me if all goes to plan, as well as the revival of some old projects and continual progression and growth of my business and my magazine. I really can't wait to see where it all goes- honestly, I just want nothing but endless success.
I'm so full of self confidence and self love and this really has had a huge impact on my life too. Life is so much better when you're not counting calories the way I did, when you're not stressing over how much exercise you need to do, about 'good' and 'bad' foods. Life is 10x better when you just embrace yourself for exactly who you are, eat what you want to when you want to, exercise if and when you want to, make choices that are the best for you and no one else and stop comparing yourself to other people. Learn to love yourself and watch how your life changes.
Finally, I fell in love again. I won't apologise for being 'cringey' or 'cheesy' because it is absolutely true that my boyfriend brings out the best in me. He really helps bring out the best version of myself and the fact that everyone else can see this too means a lot to me. An old school friend commented on a photo of the two of us saying I was really glowing with happiness, and it's true. He makes me happier than I thought I could ever be.
"Celebrate your personal victories, because no one else understands what it took to accomplish them"
I've been through a lot of shit up until now. Some things I've spoken about publicly, others I haven't. But life hasn't always been the best to me. It's not always been an easy ride, and more than once I felt like I had hit absolutely rock bottom but that that was it- that was my lot and I had to live with it.
I was wrong. I was so, so wrong. Life can always get better, but for me I found that the only way it was going to happen was if that change started with me. You can rely on friends and family, teachers and therapists, even strangers for help. And for the most part, they will help. But ultimately, the change needs to come from within. You need to want more for yourself, you need to try for yourself, you need to like, if not love yourself. . I don't speak for everyone, of course, but I think acknowledging that change needs to begin from within is a pretty solid start for anyone.
I'm living my best life right now. I feel like I've gone through the ultimate glow up. The sad little teenager who hated herself, was full of insecurities and self doubt, felt unloved, worthless and unwanted is nothing more than a sad memory. The woman I am now is everything she wanted to be- everything she should have been. I'm happy, I'm confident, I'm driven and ambitious. I'm successful and secure in the person that I am and in my capabilities.
I wish I could go back in time and make everything better for the sad, broken version of myself. I would change so many things for her, tell her to make so many different choices-
- and yet, every choice I have made up to this point and brought me to the point I am at today. Sometimes, you have to go through some shit to get to the good stuff. Star's need darkness so that they can shine, and that's exactly what I am- a star. I needed all the dark times, the low points, the negative experiences to really blossom into the person I am today. While my journey to this point may not have been an entirely happy one, I don't regret it and I wouldn't change it, because it's made me the person I am today, it's brought to me the people I am surrounded with and it's taken me to the point that I'm at now. An incredibly happy one.
I am living for being 22. I'm ready for more of everything; more success and more blessings, more opportunities and more good fortune, more love and more happiness. In fact, I'm ready for an overflow of it all. If 22 is half as good as 21 was, I know it's going to be a great year.
Love from,
Florence Grace
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