A letter to 16 year old me.
To 16 year old me,
Where do you start with a letter you are sure will never be read? I don't know for certain that time travel exists, so how can I be sure you would ever get this letter? I can't be. And yet there is so many things I want to tell you about, so many words of wisdom and warnings that I would like to pass along to you, to protect you from the negatives that are coming your way and to help you look forward to the positives (without ruining the surprises to come too much!). Perhaps even if you- my 16 year old self- never reads this, another 16 year old girl will do, and I can help her too. Knowing this is a possibility makes me happy...so let me continue to write, and hopefully pass on some nuggets of information to you that will help you in one way or another.
At just 18, I still have plenty more to learn about life. And yet at just 18 I have learnt enough to guide someone younger than myself through their teenage years. I must first break you the disappointing news, which you may have guessed by 16, you may have not- your life will not be like a movie. There will be no set structure of boy meets girl with a happy ending, any work you didn't understand you miraculously 'get' by the end, and you end up in your dream career or university straight away, no questions asked. No. It will be more work than that, more stressful than that and yet arguably just as exciting.
You may be looking forward to the day you turn 18, expecting your life to turn into a series of Skins, filled with drinking and secret raves and exotic love affairs, always feeling that little 'buzz', but I promise you, it won't. Yes, people will take drugs. Yes, people around you will begin to damage their bodies and harm themselves in ways you couldn't even imagine. Yes, people will make huge mistakes that they choose to trust you with and you will bear those mistakes like a burden, although they are not yours to bear, but it will not be glamorous. It will not be exciting. It will not be the way it is demonstrated in Skins. It will be scary, it will be unexpected, it will be dangerous. You will probably not know what to do, think or expect. Peer pressure is just one thing you will face everyday that could lead you down one of the destructive routes I have just listed. Please, try to never cave in. It's not worth it.
Don't be afraid to get professional help for the people that do cave in, that do lose their selves a little. Don't try and fix them on your own because it will not work. Your friends may not thank you straight away. They may shout at you, accuse you of betraying their trust, but believe me it will be better for them in the long run. They will thank you- eventually.
But who are these 'friends' anyway? By 18, you leave school pretty much alone. If you're in a big group of girls, know that at least one of them is stabbing you in the back. Slagging you off to people either outside or inside of your social circle- it may even be both. Know that someone else in that group is desperately unhappy, but hiding it so well. Know that each and every one of those girls in that group, no matter how 'perfect' they seem, are facing a battle inside of themselves every single day, yet hiding it so well for the benefit of the rest of you. If they can't reveal their true feelings to you, are you all really true friends? Not really.
People will lie, cheat, betray and break every promise they make. Stand your ground, look out for and after others, but always look after number one- you. At the end of the day, no one else will.
You will always be expected to give even more than you're giving- even if you're already giving your all. The human race is greedy, and will always want more. Provide too much of a kind shoulder for someone to lean on and they will crave affection the way an alcoholic craves a drop of wine, a shot of vodka- desperately. Offer to lend someone a hand with their school work and they will become dependent on your intelligence to support them through the rest of the term. People will become greedy, take advantage of you and suck every ounce of kindness they can out of you- all the while, never giving anything back in return. Steer clear of the takers. Find 'exchangers' instead. Affection for affection. Kindness for kindness. Love for love.
I'm sorry, 16 year old me. I make the world sound like such a terrible place. Truthfully, growing up is not that bad.
Yes, people will try to ruin your life. But all the hatred they throw at you, all the negativity that comes off of them will be worth it. Do you want to know why? Maybe I will tell you, so you can see the light at the end of the tunnel when things seem like they can't get any worse.
All the negatives, the disappointments of so called 'friends' and 'loved ones' will only thicken your skin. It will toughen you up. It will teach you to distinguish the real people from the fakes. Through people taking advantage of you, and people trying to ruin you, you will not be dragged down. You will only become stronger, tougher and better than ever. Suddenly you will only choose genuine people to be friends with- after so much negativity from people, you won't be able to help but to only see the genuine people. There may only be one or two, but this doesn't matter. Quality beats quantity every single time. And when you find these genuine people, these 'exchangers', suddenly everything leading up to that moment will make sense. Everything will seem worth it. These genuine people, be they partners or friends, will make everything seem worthwhile- and they will make your life feel complete.
All the negatives you have faced in life only build you up to be a stronger person. Believe me, I know that when you feel the lowest of the low, you don't want to believe things will get better. You want to just hide away for the rest of your life. This is your signal not to- your light at the end of the tunnel. Read these words and cling on to one last shred of hope- life gets better.
You will be happy. You will meet wonderful people (I shall give you a hint- they aren't from school!). You will be awarded amazing opportunities.
And I can promise you this for sure- at 18, when you become an adult, officially free and independent, whilst it might not be like a series of Skins, I can guarantee you that it will be the best year of your life yet.
Would I lie to you?
Love from,
Florence Grace
Where do you start with a letter you are sure will never be read? I don't know for certain that time travel exists, so how can I be sure you would ever get this letter? I can't be. And yet there is so many things I want to tell you about, so many words of wisdom and warnings that I would like to pass along to you, to protect you from the negatives that are coming your way and to help you look forward to the positives (without ruining the surprises to come too much!). Perhaps even if you- my 16 year old self- never reads this, another 16 year old girl will do, and I can help her too. Knowing this is a possibility makes me happy...so let me continue to write, and hopefully pass on some nuggets of information to you that will help you in one way or another.
At just 18, I still have plenty more to learn about life. And yet at just 18 I have learnt enough to guide someone younger than myself through their teenage years. I must first break you the disappointing news, which you may have guessed by 16, you may have not- your life will not be like a movie. There will be no set structure of boy meets girl with a happy ending, any work you didn't understand you miraculously 'get' by the end, and you end up in your dream career or university straight away, no questions asked. No. It will be more work than that, more stressful than that and yet arguably just as exciting.
You may be looking forward to the day you turn 18, expecting your life to turn into a series of Skins, filled with drinking and secret raves and exotic love affairs, always feeling that little 'buzz', but I promise you, it won't. Yes, people will take drugs. Yes, people around you will begin to damage their bodies and harm themselves in ways you couldn't even imagine. Yes, people will make huge mistakes that they choose to trust you with and you will bear those mistakes like a burden, although they are not yours to bear, but it will not be glamorous. It will not be exciting. It will not be the way it is demonstrated in Skins. It will be scary, it will be unexpected, it will be dangerous. You will probably not know what to do, think or expect. Peer pressure is just one thing you will face everyday that could lead you down one of the destructive routes I have just listed. Please, try to never cave in. It's not worth it.
Don't be afraid to get professional help for the people that do cave in, that do lose their selves a little. Don't try and fix them on your own because it will not work. Your friends may not thank you straight away. They may shout at you, accuse you of betraying their trust, but believe me it will be better for them in the long run. They will thank you- eventually.
But who are these 'friends' anyway? By 18, you leave school pretty much alone. If you're in a big group of girls, know that at least one of them is stabbing you in the back. Slagging you off to people either outside or inside of your social circle- it may even be both. Know that someone else in that group is desperately unhappy, but hiding it so well. Know that each and every one of those girls in that group, no matter how 'perfect' they seem, are facing a battle inside of themselves every single day, yet hiding it so well for the benefit of the rest of you. If they can't reveal their true feelings to you, are you all really true friends? Not really.
People will lie, cheat, betray and break every promise they make. Stand your ground, look out for and after others, but always look after number one- you. At the end of the day, no one else will.
You will always be expected to give even more than you're giving- even if you're already giving your all. The human race is greedy, and will always want more. Provide too much of a kind shoulder for someone to lean on and they will crave affection the way an alcoholic craves a drop of wine, a shot of vodka- desperately. Offer to lend someone a hand with their school work and they will become dependent on your intelligence to support them through the rest of the term. People will become greedy, take advantage of you and suck every ounce of kindness they can out of you- all the while, never giving anything back in return. Steer clear of the takers. Find 'exchangers' instead. Affection for affection. Kindness for kindness. Love for love.
I'm sorry, 16 year old me. I make the world sound like such a terrible place. Truthfully, growing up is not that bad.
Yes, people will try to ruin your life. But all the hatred they throw at you, all the negativity that comes off of them will be worth it. Do you want to know why? Maybe I will tell you, so you can see the light at the end of the tunnel when things seem like they can't get any worse.
All the negatives, the disappointments of so called 'friends' and 'loved ones' will only thicken your skin. It will toughen you up. It will teach you to distinguish the real people from the fakes. Through people taking advantage of you, and people trying to ruin you, you will not be dragged down. You will only become stronger, tougher and better than ever. Suddenly you will only choose genuine people to be friends with- after so much negativity from people, you won't be able to help but to only see the genuine people. There may only be one or two, but this doesn't matter. Quality beats quantity every single time. And when you find these genuine people, these 'exchangers', suddenly everything leading up to that moment will make sense. Everything will seem worth it. These genuine people, be they partners or friends, will make everything seem worthwhile- and they will make your life feel complete.
All the negatives you have faced in life only build you up to be a stronger person. Believe me, I know that when you feel the lowest of the low, you don't want to believe things will get better. You want to just hide away for the rest of your life. This is your signal not to- your light at the end of the tunnel. Read these words and cling on to one last shred of hope- life gets better.
You will be happy. You will meet wonderful people (I shall give you a hint- they aren't from school!). You will be awarded amazing opportunities.
And I can promise you this for sure- at 18, when you become an adult, officially free and independent, whilst it might not be like a series of Skins, I can guarantee you that it will be the best year of your life yet.
Would I lie to you?
Love from,
Florence Grace
You always have some very important things to say and a way of saying them that's very engaging.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, I really appreciate that!
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