Feel good or feel safe? A woman's dilemma.
WARNING: The following article is about rape and contains sensitive content. The subject of rape I have chosen to talk about is predominantly female victims with male attackers from Britain and the USA- this does not mean I am not aware that rape victims can be male, can be children and that it is a huge issue all over the world as well as here. Please do not take offence to the areas that I personally have chosen to focus on.
Girls love a big night out- the gossip, the drinking, the dancing. Best of all is the pre-drinks, and the getting dolled up, all girls together. Fancy heels, little dresses, eyelashes and glitter all come together to create an outfit preparing you for a night on the town. There's no denying though, that throughout all the fun of getting ready, there is often one worry lingering at the back of a girls mind. "Does this outfit create the wrong impression of me?".
How disgraceful are these statistics? I'm not sure which sicken me more- the views of a police force, the very men who are paid to protect rape victims, or the statistics involving children as young as eleven. In an ideal world, an 11 year old boy shouldn't even understand or know what rape is, let alone believe it is okay!
Rape is an all around awful thing. One of the worst parts to it is that there is literally never an acceptable story that an attacker can provide. "She said yes then changed her mind", "She was drunk and wanted it really", "The way she was dressed said it all"...the list of pathetic, disgusting excuses goes on and on and on. The sad but hard-hitting truth is that up to 95,000* people a year are raped. 95,000 people. What a number. The even sadder, even more hard-hitting truth is that just 1070* people are convicted with rape every year. Just take a second to compare those two numbers, and the difference between them. The number is even higher in America, with over 200,000* people being raped a year and an equally low number being convicted for their crime.
97% of rapists will never spend even one day in jail for what they have done.
So why is this? Why are rapists allowed to attack someone, possibly leading to the victim/s living a ruined life with serious consequences, and not receive any serious consequences of their own?
Is it because rape is not treated as a serious crime? 33% of males admitted they would date rape a girl if they knew they could get away with it. Why? Simply because a high proportion of men see it as just sex, and don't always consider what they are doing to be rape. If she's on a date with him, obviously she likes him and wants to sleep with him right? Wrong. Maybe she acts flirty on the date which creates an 'impression' on the male, and so he assumes she 'wants it'. Also wrong. If a girl does NOT say "Let's have sex" or "I want to have sex with you" do not have sex with her. If she starts taking her clothes off and then changes her mind, do not pressure her. Do not rely on assumptions or implied actions, because more often than not you will be wrong. You may feel by checking whether a woman definitely wants to have sex ruins the heat of the moment, but it is better to be safe than sorry- for both of you.
It could also be due to the fact that less than half of all rape cases are being reported. Victims feel scared of their attacker and don't want to risk being attacked again. Victims feel ashamed, embarrassed, dirty or simply don't know who to turn to in order to attain some much needed help. There are also other reasons, personal and unique to each and every victim. With only less than half of cases being reported, only less than half of attackers have the chance to be arrested, and this makes the number that are actually convicted even lower- allowing more rapists to walk free, able to do it again.
It could be because of the fact that only 3% of rapists spend time in jail- and even then, it's never for a sufficient amount of time. They will always be free to walk the streets in just a few years. This makes the effort of reporting a 'shameful' crime to the police in an attempt to get your attacker behind bars seem pointless if there's a high chance it won't work, and many victims choose to just try and attempt to live their life without any help or support following the incident.
Or it might be because 50% of rape cases are believed to be fabricated- when in reality, only 2-8% of them are.
Maybe it's because 84% of females raped know their attacker, and don't want to get a family member or 'friend' in trouble for fear of ruining other people's lives/relationships, or for fear it may happen again.
Thankfully, I have never been faced with the awful position of being a victim of sexual assault or rape. However, I feel I can understand why all of the above reasons prevent rape from being treated as a 'serious' crime. As well as providing an understanding as to why so many rapists walk free, these reasons also only display even more just how awful rape is. The statistic I personally found the most heart breaking and appalling was that 84% of females actually knew their attacker. How is any female supposed to let someone into their life, open up and trust them, knowing that statistic? Knowing a close friend, or brother in law could attack them and ruin their life? It is horrendous- the whole topic of rape and all it's statistics is.
So what needs to be done about these shocking statistics?
Girls love a big night out- the gossip, the drinking, the dancing. Best of all is the pre-drinks, and the getting dolled up, all girls together. Fancy heels, little dresses, eyelashes and glitter all come together to create an outfit preparing you for a night on the town. There's no denying though, that throughout all the fun of getting ready, there is often one worry lingering at the back of a girls mind. "Does this outfit create the wrong impression of me?".
Half of all youths think that rape is 'okay' in a 'certain situation'. 51% of boys aged between just eleven and fourteen believe that it is was acceptable to rape a female if you have "spent a lot of money on her". Similarly, a survey carried out among a foreign police force revealed 66% of the police offers believed girls were "asking for it" if they dressed and acted in a certain way that 'provoked' the attacker. Did I make that clear enough? Males believe females deserve to be raped, abused and attacked depending on how they look.
How disgraceful are these statistics? I'm not sure which sicken me more- the views of a police force, the very men who are paid to protect rape victims, or the statistics involving children as young as eleven. In an ideal world, an 11 year old boy shouldn't even understand or know what rape is, let alone believe it is okay!
Rape is an all around awful thing. One of the worst parts to it is that there is literally never an acceptable story that an attacker can provide. "She said yes then changed her mind", "She was drunk and wanted it really", "The way she was dressed said it all"...the list of pathetic, disgusting excuses goes on and on and on. The sad but hard-hitting truth is that up to 95,000* people a year are raped. 95,000 people. What a number. The even sadder, even more hard-hitting truth is that just 1070* people are convicted with rape every year. Just take a second to compare those two numbers, and the difference between them. The number is even higher in America, with over 200,000* people being raped a year and an equally low number being convicted for their crime.
97% of rapists will never spend even one day in jail for what they have done.
So why is this? Why are rapists allowed to attack someone, possibly leading to the victim/s living a ruined life with serious consequences, and not receive any serious consequences of their own?
Is it because rape is not treated as a serious crime? 33% of males admitted they would date rape a girl if they knew they could get away with it. Why? Simply because a high proportion of men see it as just sex, and don't always consider what they are doing to be rape. If she's on a date with him, obviously she likes him and wants to sleep with him right? Wrong. Maybe she acts flirty on the date which creates an 'impression' on the male, and so he assumes she 'wants it'. Also wrong. If a girl does NOT say "Let's have sex" or "I want to have sex with you" do not have sex with her. If she starts taking her clothes off and then changes her mind, do not pressure her. Do not rely on assumptions or implied actions, because more often than not you will be wrong. You may feel by checking whether a woman definitely wants to have sex ruins the heat of the moment, but it is better to be safe than sorry- for both of you.
It could also be due to the fact that less than half of all rape cases are being reported. Victims feel scared of their attacker and don't want to risk being attacked again. Victims feel ashamed, embarrassed, dirty or simply don't know who to turn to in order to attain some much needed help. There are also other reasons, personal and unique to each and every victim. With only less than half of cases being reported, only less than half of attackers have the chance to be arrested, and this makes the number that are actually convicted even lower- allowing more rapists to walk free, able to do it again.
It could be because of the fact that only 3% of rapists spend time in jail- and even then, it's never for a sufficient amount of time. They will always be free to walk the streets in just a few years. This makes the effort of reporting a 'shameful' crime to the police in an attempt to get your attacker behind bars seem pointless if there's a high chance it won't work, and many victims choose to just try and attempt to live their life without any help or support following the incident.
Or it might be because 50% of rape cases are believed to be fabricated- when in reality, only 2-8% of them are.
Maybe it's because 84% of females raped know their attacker, and don't want to get a family member or 'friend' in trouble for fear of ruining other people's lives/relationships, or for fear it may happen again.
Thankfully, I have never been faced with the awful position of being a victim of sexual assault or rape. However, I feel I can understand why all of the above reasons prevent rape from being treated as a 'serious' crime. As well as providing an understanding as to why so many rapists walk free, these reasons also only display even more just how awful rape is. The statistic I personally found the most heart breaking and appalling was that 84% of females actually knew their attacker. How is any female supposed to let someone into their life, open up and trust them, knowing that statistic? Knowing a close friend, or brother in law could attack them and ruin their life? It is horrendous- the whole topic of rape and all it's statistics is.
So what needs to be done about these shocking statistics?
- Men need to stop thinking the way a woman dresses means she's "asking for it" or "provoking" a man. Wrong wrong wrong. Why should a woman have to dress a certain way to prevent being raped? MEN need to stop raping to prevent rape!
- Sexual assault and abusive relationships need to stop being glorified- such as in the popular book and soon to be film 50 Shades of Grey.
- Females need to be given more support. They need to know that they will be believed if they report a rape, that they will not be judged or accused of being a "slut". They need to feel that they can report their attacker for what they have done. More than half of all rape cases should be reported- all of them should be.
- Men need to learn that no means NO. It doesn't mean persuade me or convince me.
- Men also need to learn that arousal is not consent. Yes, whilst you passionately kiss a woman, she will become aroused. No, this doesn't mean she wants to sleep with you.
- The punishment for rape needs to become more severe. The 3% that do go to jail need to spend more than 2 years there- and of course, more than 3% of attackers need to do time as well.
I am not expecting a major change to come of this post. I am not expecting laws to change, people's opinions to change, raping to stop completely. But after the amount of rape cases that have been reported in my local town over the last couple of months, I have been doing in depth research, and felt the statistics I learnt deserved to be shared with a wider audience besides myself. Half the problem with rape may be just that people are not well informed enough on the issue. Half the problem may be the most common used excuse for rape is because "she looked up for it". No one, not one person, deserves to be raped because they look a certain way. The bottom line is this though: sex without consent from all participants is rape. Entry of someones body without their consent is rape. And rape is never okay.
Read this post and inform yourself. Share this post and inform others. Help females know that there is no need to be afraid- they need to report their attacker to help prevent other girls from being attacked, and more importantly to help themselves. 97% of rapists walk free. This number needs to go down.
Love from,
Florence Grace
*data is changing every single day and is different in every country.
I agree with this post. Societal attitudes toward women and rape need to change.
ReplyDeleteChichi
http://chichi-writes.blogspot.co.uk/