I'll take the bitchy look sundae, with an extra scoop of drama and a sprinkle of rumors to go...
Girls. Why can't we just get along?
I can't remember a time in my life where I haven't witnessed, been mixed up in or been a shoulder to cry on for someone who's been mixed up in a messy friendship gone wrong. It seems to happen all to often, and whereas with boys, everything is over with and forgotten about once a few punches have been thrown, girls will drag an issue out for as long as they can, twisting it up, becoming more spiteful and worsening the situation in any way that they can the longer the problem goes on for.
Why do we do this to each other?!
I can guarantee that most of you reading this now will have been involved in some form of friendship drama or another at least once in your life. We all know how painful it can be, how difficult it can make things at school or at work, so why do we still not know any better? Why do we still find a thrill in feeding off the latest drama, getting all the gossip and participating in someone else's business, usually worsening the situation?
Girls can find problems with anything, be it boys, clothes, friends, jealousy issues, boyfriends, or just not liking each other. However, no matter what the issue is, every single one has the same solution. Shall I share it with you?
Keep it between the person involved and yourself.
Forcing people to take sides in a situation which affects a group of friends, or colleagues in a work place is not only awkward and uncomfortable, but immature and unfair too. Confronting somebody about a problem via facebook or twitter, for the whole world to see, rather than face to face in private or via a direct message is embarrassing for others to witness, it invites people to get involved, and is also, again, immature. Flinging insults around for all to see will get you nowhere. Speaking calmly and maturely to each other will at least try to resolve the problem- without starting a fight or any bullying in the process.
If you have a serious issue with somebody, the only way it can be resolved is with direct communication between yourself and the person who has an issue with you/you have an issue with. When other people get involved, stories become misconstrued, clear communication goes out of the window altogether and it can- and usually does- lead to nastiness, harassment and even bullying. Keep your issues private, and try to resolve them in a mature and civil manner
For those of you who are witnesses to drama, please, I beg of you, do not get involved. If you feel someone is being directly targeted in a nasty way and you want to step in to stop it, do so. That's a kind and sensible thing to do. But remain impartial, keep your message short and suggest they stop communicating or take it to a private platform. Do not add fuel to the fire by joining one "side" and continuing the argument.
When trying to resolve an issue with somebody, it is important to remember these things:
- As hard as it is, stay calm. When we're angry we act impulsively and aren't thinking clearly at all. Usually when angry, we do things we regret. Don't worsen the situation with your temper. Wait until you have calmed down and then confront the problem.
- Recognise when to back down. Sometimes, as hard as it may be to admit to yourself, you may be the one in the wrong. The quicker you accept this (if this is the case) then the quicker you can get about resolving the problem!
- Apologise. Apologise if you're the one in the wrong, apologise for any nastiness this person may have suffered from others due to the problem, apologise if you've been harsh and actually just got the wrong end of the stick.
Too much drama leads to a toxic environment. As strong, powerful women, we should be helping other women to also be strong and powerful. Support one another, help one another to grow. What do you gain from being nasty to somebody else?
Nothing.
Love from,
Florence Grace
I can't remember a time in my life where I haven't witnessed, been mixed up in or been a shoulder to cry on for someone who's been mixed up in a messy friendship gone wrong. It seems to happen all to often, and whereas with boys, everything is over with and forgotten about once a few punches have been thrown, girls will drag an issue out for as long as they can, twisting it up, becoming more spiteful and worsening the situation in any way that they can the longer the problem goes on for.
Why do we do this to each other?!
I can guarantee that most of you reading this now will have been involved in some form of friendship drama or another at least once in your life. We all know how painful it can be, how difficult it can make things at school or at work, so why do we still not know any better? Why do we still find a thrill in feeding off the latest drama, getting all the gossip and participating in someone else's business, usually worsening the situation?
Girls can find problems with anything, be it boys, clothes, friends, jealousy issues, boyfriends, or just not liking each other. However, no matter what the issue is, every single one has the same solution. Shall I share it with you?
Keep it between the person involved and yourself.
Forcing people to take sides in a situation which affects a group of friends, or colleagues in a work place is not only awkward and uncomfortable, but immature and unfair too. Confronting somebody about a problem via facebook or twitter, for the whole world to see, rather than face to face in private or via a direct message is embarrassing for others to witness, it invites people to get involved, and is also, again, immature. Flinging insults around for all to see will get you nowhere. Speaking calmly and maturely to each other will at least try to resolve the problem- without starting a fight or any bullying in the process.
If you have a serious issue with somebody, the only way it can be resolved is with direct communication between yourself and the person who has an issue with you/you have an issue with. When other people get involved, stories become misconstrued, clear communication goes out of the window altogether and it can- and usually does- lead to nastiness, harassment and even bullying. Keep your issues private, and try to resolve them in a mature and civil manner
For those of you who are witnesses to drama, please, I beg of you, do not get involved. If you feel someone is being directly targeted in a nasty way and you want to step in to stop it, do so. That's a kind and sensible thing to do. But remain impartial, keep your message short and suggest they stop communicating or take it to a private platform. Do not add fuel to the fire by joining one "side" and continuing the argument.
When trying to resolve an issue with somebody, it is important to remember these things:
- As hard as it is, stay calm. When we're angry we act impulsively and aren't thinking clearly at all. Usually when angry, we do things we regret. Don't worsen the situation with your temper. Wait until you have calmed down and then confront the problem.
- Recognise when to back down. Sometimes, as hard as it may be to admit to yourself, you may be the one in the wrong. The quicker you accept this (if this is the case) then the quicker you can get about resolving the problem!
- Apologise. Apologise if you're the one in the wrong, apologise for any nastiness this person may have suffered from others due to the problem, apologise if you've been harsh and actually just got the wrong end of the stick.
- Finally, you're not always going to like everyone, and not everyone will like you. It's a sad but true fact of life, and one that we all must come to terms with. Try your hardest to finish on civil terms with someone, but don't dither over what you could have done if no good comes from trying to be friends- it's obviously just not meant to be.
Girls have enough bullies and people to target them worldwide- the male population does more than enough of that. Why don't we try not to help them out and spread the love among each other, stand up for each other, help each other to grow? We can not build an empire of powerful women if all of the women are divided. Whilst you don't have to like everyone, you don't have to be nasty to anyone either. Don't linger over people who you don't like or get along with, but don't bring them down either. Just stay away from them to avoid unnecessary trouble and drama.
Too much drama leads to a toxic environment. As strong, powerful women, we should be helping other women to also be strong and powerful. Support one another, help one another to grow. What do you gain from being nasty to somebody else?
Nothing.
Love from,
Florence Grace
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