Being an adult

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When I was younger, I wanted to be married with children by the time I was 20, and had decided I would not have children later than 25, because I wanted to be a young, pretty, cool mum like my mum was. I think that was what influenced this naive idea- the fact that my parents were married with children by the time they were 22. This, and the fact that a lot of Jacqueline Wilson books I was reading (she was my favourite author) featured young, single mums who were pretty and cool and all had babies when they were 16. 

It wasn't until I reached 16 myself that I realised how far off 20 was- the answer? Not very far. I had started to consider university and further education. I couldn't possibly have a baby whilst at uni! I made calculations in my head. Finish uni by 21, baby by 22, 23 and still be a young, cool mum with a degree. 

Then I reached 18. 20 was creeping ever closer. I had given up on the idea of uni, much to my school and my parents disappointment. That wasn't all I had given up on though. The idea of having children in just two years was terrifying when I myself still didn't know how to cook or use a washing machine. But I could still get married and have a partner and we could live together. 

Then I hit 19. Just one year until I wanted to start getting this show they call 'life' on the road. I had started my career in the media industry and everything was going really well, with lots of exciting changes happening for me. It was a matter of months until I turned 20, the deadline I had set myself so many years ago to start being an "adult". And as the months began to fall away, bringing my 20th birthday ever closer, I realised something I had been feeling for a while now...

I wasn't ready. 

Married? At 20? No way. It wasn't going to happen. Not only because it's not what my current partner had wanted but also because it's not what I wanted. There was- and still is- so much I want to do first without children. I want to travel to more places, be able to drop everything and dash off to participate in some amazing opportunity or take on a new job without having to worry too much about money or where I'm living, if I can afford food and, most importantly of all, if I can look after another human being that is literally depending on me to survive. 

My whole life I had felt that when I turned 20 I would be an adult, ready to run a family and a home. My own mum made it look so easy! And then I reached 20 and I realised that I wouldn't be ready until 30, if ever. Is anyone ready to be an 'adult'? I don't know if I ever will be! 

I adore babies, and feel so broody whenever I see them or cuddle them. I love the idea of marriage and am a firm believer that you can be with one person and make it work forever (maybe that idea will change as I get older too...). I'm not saying that I don't want to get married and have children because I definitely do. 

But not now. Not like I planned. 

If reaching 20 taught me anything it is not only that I'm not an adult yet, but also that it's okay not to have a plan. It's okay to have absolutely no clue where you're going in life. It's okay to change your mind about things every single day. 20 is still young and is no where near an adult- in my opinion anyway. 

I am 20 and have no plan. I know things I'd like to do but have no idea when they'll happen, when I'll have the money or when I will have the time. I have a list of things I'd like to do but no plan set in stone. Right now, I'm more focused on living life in the moment, taking each day as it comes and gaining memories and experiences that will last me for a lifetime. 

I'm 20 and have no life plans. There. I said it!


Love from,
Florence Grace


Like this? Try... Mo' money NO problems! | Are you a whiner or a doer? | Turning 20!

Comments

  1. Chichi18 February 2016 at 04:11

    I think that becoming an adult is subjective. We all mature at different ages. For myself, I didn't have a proper childhood and I had to grow up really quickly (too quickly) and I was doing a lot of 'adult' things by the time I was in my teens. I've always had to be mature. This is a good thing but this has meant that I didn't get a chance to enjoy being a child, and this has meant that I have clashed with people at university because they were so immature and had quick naive and rose tinted views of the world.

    I'm 23 and while I do have life goals, plans and ambitions, I don't believe in this idea that by a certain age you should be married with kids, a car and a big house, it's just not realistic. I do believe that by the time you reach adulthood you should have certain skills and what not, but you don't have to have your shit together! But not having your shit together doesn't mean you're less of an adult! There are people much older than me who are so immature, and while I do consider myself to be quite mature, I don't think I more or less mature than the next person.

    Chichi
    http://chichi-writes.blogspot.co.uk/

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  2. Unknown20 February 2016 at 13:23

    I think it's great that you found out for yourself that being an adult and living "life" doesn't have to mean to marry young and start a family. Life can mean anything and everything. You're still so super young and so much will happen in your life. Personally, I think it's right to experience what the world has to offer, before you devote yourself to a family because even though it's a wonderful thing, it will change so much and you just won't be able to do the same things. Unless you're rich and have 93275 nannies but that doesn't seem to be your plan. :) And no worries, I find it perfectly normal not to have plans at age 20. :)

    www.haileyjaderyan.com

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