Things people would rather be asked than "Are you a gift aider?"

Have you heard of Gift Aid? If you aren't associated with any charities, it's unlikely. Until I started to work at a charity shop, I had never heard of it either- yet now, it is part of my working day duties to ask everyone who donates to our store "Are you a gift aider?"

The response I get is on the verge of hysterical.

 "Gift aid?" they gasp, eyes wide with fear "Nope, not me. Not at all, not today, nope", and slowly they back out of the shop, arms raised in defence as though my colleagues and I are rabid dogs, ready to pounce.

So what the hell is Gift Aid? Must be truly awful to receive such a negative response from about 50% of our donors, right? To force them to leave the shop, too fearful to return in case we spring another surprise attack on them, it must be something truly terrible, right?

Wrong. So, so wrong.

Gift Aid is a scheme that charities can participate in, in corporation with the government. If you're a UK Tax Payer, you can sign up to be a Gift Aider. This means that for every £1 we sell you donation for in our store, the government will give us an extra 25p on top of that- at no cost to you whatsoever! All we need from customers is a name, address and signature. That's it.

Yet people act so horrified when they are faced with the prospect of having to sign this a5 document to help raise more money for the charity via the government. Backing away, shaking heads violently, sometimes even just point blank ignoring you! Some of the reactions I have dealt with are just so humorous, I can't not make light of the ridiculous situation; as they say, if you don't laugh you'll cry! So how have I made light of this situation? By compiling a list, of course (who doesn't love a good list!) of all the things in the world that people would rather be asked than "Are you a gift aider?"

Would you like me to force feed you manure from a horse with bowel problems? Because the prospect of eating an animals waste is clearly so much more enticing than providing us with a name and address to help raise money for our charity via the government.

Would you like me to stick pins in to your eyeballs for an hour? Because this is more appealing than helping a charity at no extra cost to yourself, isn't it?

Would you like me to kidnap your children and hold them for ransom? They won't mind, it's all for charity!

Shall I burn your house down just for fun? If you provide us with your address so that we can claim Gift Aid on your donations, we do this as part of the thank you package anyway!

Can I please strip you of your clothes and force you to stand outside of our shop for the duration of the working day? Because this is equally as humiliating as admitting that yes, you are in fact a Gift Aider.

Would you like me to inject heroin into your blood stream via your eyeballs? This is just as painful and life threatening as being a charitable person and signing up for gift aid.

Can I just force you to walk over some hot coals whilst I watch on with a bowl of popcorn? Again, another example of activities in the thank you package that we provide when you sign up to Gift Aid.


Do you ever receive ridiculous reactions to questions you have to ask as part of your job? Let me know the ones that really get your eyes rolling in the comments below!

Love from,
Florence Grace

Disclaimer: This post is for 100% entertainment reasons only- a very over dramatic take of peoples reactions. Of course I would never inject someone with heroin or burn someones house down! Please don't take it seriously! :)