Being by myself

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Today I published a post on my magazine's website by one of my writers, all about women who are criticised for not wanting to have children and get married. It was a really good article and is definitely something I've seen happen to people I know- although not me personally because I'm all about having an OTT wedding and having babies because I love 'em, but that's beside the point. The point was, women shouldn't be criticised for not doing what society tells them they should be doing.

 

It's basically the same as what I've been going through for the past eleven months, being single. While my best pals have been all for the new independent Flo smashing her career goals and being generally fab (look, they say it, not me), other people aren't so understanding. I'm almost continuously hit with things like 

"You mean you're not dating yet?"

"You want to get out there whilst you're still young!"

"You have all the time in the world to work but your looks won't last forever" (Ugh seriously why is this a thing) 

"Aren't you bored of being by yourself?"



Hell to the no. Being single was a choice, believe it or not. I chose to walk away from a toxic relationship therefore making myself single and I chose not to date anyone in between because, to be frank, everyone I have met has been a little bit creepy, therefore staying single. It's not because I want to focus 100% on my career (although that is definitely a high priority of mine), its not because Im depressed or shy or miserable or anything else and it's not because I haven't been able to "get out there" or anything like that. 

Oh, and I'm definitely not bored of being by myself. 

Being by myself has allowed me to be myself. Since I was 14 I was always a "we" and never a "you". I was always a part of somebody else and never actually just me. I stayed the same for five and a half years, never changing myself once and it was only by becoming single that I was able to actually be who I wanted to be. My confidence grew, I began to actually like who I was and I am a far better person now than I was this time last year, or two years ago, or even five years ago. 


I'm not against being with someone but I'm not against being by myself either, and no one should be. I'm not going to settle with someone for the sake of it but equally, I won't put up boundaries just to prove a point. At the end of the day, so what? Who cares who is dating who, or rather, who isn't dating who? It shouldn't be seen as a bad thing that "Oh my gosh you've been single for soooo long", if in that period of time I've actually been happy? Been successful? I mean, that's got to count for something right? I can be happy with or without someone, and that's all that matters- to me, anyway.  

And besides, its really none of your concern if I'm single or if I'm not, is it? 

Love from,
Florence Grace 

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