How can I deal with negative emotions?



Today I'm asking you guys a pretty big question:

How can I deal with negative emotions?

It seems like an easy thing to do, doesn't it? You get sad, you cry it out. Get mad, shout it out. You know what I mean. I don't do that though. 

When I'm sad, I don't really cry anymore. When I'm angry, I snap a bit at my mum or my sisters but no where near as much as I used to (regardless of what they think, I know I don't haha). Instead, I hole myself up in my room and do one of two things. I either eat, or I rip my skin to shreds where my long lasting eczema has been slowly healing; I just tear it right back open again. 

I don't know why I do either of these things. I don't feel hungry yet somewhere, somethings gone wrong. At some point, I've trained my brain to link feeling unhappy to eating. I have thought about it endlessly, trying to work out where it went wrong, if there was ever a time I felt sad and so ate to feel better and so began the cycle but I can't find a specific moment or period of time. 

The eczema is almost like self harming in the fact that the physical pain is a distraction from the emotional pain. How could I possibly focus on the chavs in the street throwing insults at me on behalf of my ex boyfriend when my hands are red raw and feel like they're on fire? I can't! 

However it's different to self harm in the fact that I don't intentionally scratch. I never want to scratch. My eczema genuinely just flares up when I'm stressed, annoyed, angry or sad. It's like my body's physical reaction to my negative emotions. My eczema becomes unbearably itchy and I have to scratch it, so much until the itching sensation goes away and I'm left with blood stained nails and clawed up hands. 

Someone tell me what I can do! How can I deal with my negative emotions in a better way than this?! Obviously I need more self control; if I really will myself not to eat, and not to scratch, neither will happen. But my eczema will still itch like crazy, even if I don't scratch it, and my mind will still tell me I'm 'hungry', even when I'm not. 

I'm a self confessed emotional eater and scratcher, as daft as that sounds. Seriously, someone tell me how I can handle any negative emotions that come my way! I'm bored of having a fluctuating weight and horrible looking hands.

Love from,
Florence Grace

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