Are you a narcissist?

The words thrown around the most often, the most lightly, are often the words being used the most incorrectly. Retard. Gay. Slag. Obese. Anorexic. Narcissist. All of these words are used quite often in place of words we really mean- stupid, chubby, slim, vain. You get the gist. 

Today I thought I'd talk to you about the word "narcissist", not only because it's a word I have had flung at me before but because yesterday there was outrage at the incorrect use of the word in a very important topic of discussion. 

Yesterday, broadcaster Joan Bakewell suggested that having an eating disorder was a sign of narcissism. She said "To be unhappy because you are the wrong weight is a sign of the overindulgence of our society, over-introspection, narcissism really". 

I for one was shocked, and I know I was not alone. Let's look at the definition of narcissism, shall we? 

"Narcissism: Excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance"

Hmm. Admiration of oneself...leads to an eating disorder? I don't think so. I know that every case when it comes to eating disorders is definitely unique, but I know for sure that most of the time, people starve themselves or over eat because they loathe themselves. They starve themselves because they hate their bodies, they over eat because they feel empty inside...I have met a lot of people with eating disorders but I have never met one who did it because they had excessive admiration for their physical appearance. The fact that someone could even believe this idea, let alone share it on a large media platform is absolutely ridiculous and really shocks me. It's the perfect example of someone flinging a word around without truly understanding what it means. Whilst Bakewell has been quick to apologise for her comments following the huge backlash that she received, it's too little too late. The damage has been done, and this comment is not one that will be forgotten easily. 

Now let me tell you about my experience with the incorrect use of the word narcissism.

It's no secret that I like to share my successes with my social media followings. When I achieve something good, such as a work placement, a new job, a new target of followers or page views, I share this. I post it on facebook, twitter, instagram, you name it! Why? Because I like to think that I might be inspiring people to do fab things themselves! I'm an average girl from a town where nothing great really happens who dropped out of her university placement, changed her career idea completely half way through her college course and over the last 18 months has somehow still managed to make some steps towards beginning to create something of herself. As it happens, when I post about my successes, people tell me that I inspire them, and I think that is great! If I can inspire someone and help them take steps to do something they really want to achieve then that's amazing! 

Yet on numerous occasions I have posted about my achievements only to be called 'narcissistic' for doing so. Again, looking at the definition of narcissism, I can't understand why someone would pair this word with me being proud of myself for something I have worked hard to achieve. It not only makes them look silly for using incorrect vocabulary in an attempt to insult me, but also comes across as a little...well. Jealous, really! Why shouldn't I write about my accomplishments when I've worked so damn hard to get them? My average day is anywhere from 12 to 20 hours long, when I finally achieve a goal I have every right to want to share it! Its not a form of narcissism. Its me being proud of myself- as I should be. 

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, there are a lot of words where these kinds of scenarios are the case. 'Slut' is often thrown around for a girl who shows a lot of skin when she dresses, or who has a lot of physical relationships. Wrong. 'Gay' is often used as a negative adjective in place of words like 'lame', 'stupid' and 'rubbish'. Wrong. 'Obese' is often used when a person feels they look bigger than they think they do in a photo, or when they have eaten a lot and feel 'obese'. Wrong. 'Anorexic' is often used when someone looks particularly slim. Wrong. And now, 'narcissist' is used when someone writes openly about self love and being proud of themselves. Wrong.

Think before you speak.

Do you really know the meaning of the word you're about to use? Do you know what kind of an impact using this word will have, on the person you're speaking to, the people around you listening? Words might not break bones but they can definitely hurt people- so make sure you are using the right ones.

Love from,

Florence Grace

Like this? Why not try... The importance of self love | A letter to my haters! | Character over contour