Cutting ties.

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Do you know what really sucks?

Friends who don't support you. 

Am I really completely mad for thinking that your friends should support you in all that you do? (As long as it's safe/healthy etc. of course!). I have a brilliant group of friends around me currently, and I've never been so happy with who I spend my time with. They're positive, they life me up, support me, encourage me and I think that's really amazing. I don't have many friends but it's definitely about quality, not quantity, and I think I've got the balance right! 

I did have more friends, but as the New Year rolled around, I cut them off. Not in a nasty way, not with any kind of negative actions. I simply stopped bothering to send them messages, stopped texting and calling, stopped trying to arrange meet ups. These people never tried to speak to me, never tried to see me, so why should I bother? Most importantly of all, they never supported me, and I wasn't going to stand for that any more. 

I had "friends" who had never listened to my radio shows. Who never watched my YouTube videos, read my blog posts, liked my facebook pages, read my magazine, bought my stationery sets- they did and still have done, nothing in any way to support me. 

My current friends are the complete opposite. They tuned into every radio show (Bobbie!), they have read my blogs and like them when I share them, (Alex!) they have hared my blogs on facebook, they have read my magazine and bought every issue (Ricarda!), they have read my columns in Vale Life (Xenia!) and everything else. They continuously support me over and over, time and time again. I couldn't be more grateful and I know that these are the kinds of people I need to have in my life. 

I feel sad about cutting off people I believed were my friends, of course I do. But I just can't afford to be surrounded by people who don't bring anything to my life, no positivity, no support, no care, no love. I try to bring all of this into my friends lives and I am glad that they do the same. I feel like, finally, the group of friends I have around me are the right kind of friends, scrap that, the best kind of friends to have around me! I couldn't be more lucky- or more grateful.

There's nothing wrong with cutting off people who don't add to your life, who drag you down instead of lifting you up. It's nothing to feel bad about. Always do what's best for you and surround yourself with the best people possible!

Love from,
Florence Grace

Comments

  1. Anne 18 May 2016 at 15:15

    Ugh. This. I get it. Like 100%. You're not mad. I expect my friends to support me and be there, and that's the minimum i'd do for them, and so if someone isn't treating you with the same basic respect- then you're right to stop putting in all the effort. Glad I'm not the only one, this was a really reassuring post :)

    Love,

    Anne // www.aportraitofyouth.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Florence Grace18 May 2016 at 15:18

      Ah thank you Anna, so glad you agree and now feel a little more reassured! I think it's something a lot of people go through so it needs to be spoken about! Thanks for reading :) xx

      Delete
    2. Florence Grace18 May 2016 at 15:20

      Oops, sorry, I meant Anne AND a smiley face at the end! Bad, late night typing!!!

      Delete
  2. GirlGoneDreamer19 May 2016 at 10:16

    I too have been in this exact same place before hun. Totally get it. I had to shake off the negative relationships and focus on making time for me and my real friends. Definitely something that had to be done. My 'old' friends accused me of changing! I was like yeah and so what!? I like who I am now so much more! Because I finally know how to stand up for myself, have an opinion and be that bit more confident. Obviously friendship to them was about squashing that out of me, controlling what we did, where we went etc. They didn't like the newer, free, independent me... But I love it! Needless to say I too am happier with my smaller group of friends. Quality not quantity defo!! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Florence Grace20 May 2016 at 05:50

      It's funny how they don't like it when you change and only then decide to bombard you with messages...to tell you to stop changing! People are bizarre. Its so important to love yourself, regardless of whether 'friends' do. Real friends will accept you for who you are! xxx

      Delete
    2. Chichi21 May 2016 at 09:51

      I had the exact same issue - my 'friends' at university didn't like me for who I was - confident, self-assured, ambitious, hardworking - and they tried to control me! But real friends respect you for who you are!

      Delete
  3. Chichi21 May 2016 at 09:38

    I totally agree! You're not being unreasonable in any way! And you don't need to confront a person in order to cut ties, especially if they are being toxic. If someone doesn't bring value to your life or if they put you down, then they are not worth your time or energy.

    I've been in your situation. Since last summer I've had to cut ties with so-called 'friends' because they were toxic, rude, disrespectful, horrible, unappreciative and unsupportive. They'd find any excuse to put me down and they would try to mould me into something I'm not, but when it came to my achievements they would never congratulate me. Instead, they'd say nothing, or put down my achievements and goals, or try to one-up me. Plus they would try to cross the boundaries of friendship. They would take my kindness for weakness.

    I have no regrets. I don't have many friends and I find it VERY hard to make friends, but I'd rather have a small group of true friends over a large group of fake friends and acquaintances.

    Quality over quantity any day! That's the way it should be when it comes to friendships.

    Chichi
    chichi-writes.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chichi21 May 2016 at 09:47

      And...they would bitch about me, try to manipulate me, they were very sly and sneaky, and they would make snide digs and nasty remarks. Who the hell needs 'friends' like that???

      Delete

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