Pornography; more of a problem than pleasure

Today, Radio 1, 1Xtra and Radio 4 combined channels for half an hour to discuss being addicted to pornography, linked with a new documentary that has just been released and is now available on BBC iPlayer. I was eager to listen to the half an hour slot to see what was discussed- and I am so glad that I did! 

Pornography addiction is a very real and very serious problem, as unlikely and as humorous as it might sound, and hundreds of people suffer from it every year, with ages ranging as young as 15 and as old as 79, in both males and females. 

The radio show had live speakers who were just random members of the public, all with different views on pornography. One gentleman was very blase about it all, stating that it was like "real life on acid", that it was "just sex" and that people just needed to "learn to detach" reality from fantasy. One woman spoke openly about her ex boyfriends addiction to porn and how it had a negative affect on their relationship, forcing them to split up. An expert spoke on the show about how it affects children as young as eleven who have access to pornography on the playground (scary but true). All in all, it was an interesting show to listen to with a lot of diverse opinions that gave me a lot to think about. 

Here's what we do know about pornography:

- It can lead to an addiction 

- It can alter peoples sexual tendencies, fantasies and sex lives in both a negative and positive way

- It can be accessed by anyone at almost any time via the internet or in magazines

- It can cause relationships to break down

- It alters men's perception of women 

- It shows women being treated as objects rather than people

- It creates unrealistic expectations of sexual relationships

One man on the show stated that watching porn actually made him unable to treat a woman as a person. Instead, he treated women as objects, perceiving them as sexual beings and nothing else. All from watching porn. Pornography can even lead to infertility if people become addicted to it. It's just absolute madness. 

But does it have to be so bad? Pornography is meant to be enjoyable (and I use that term loosely) but there is an issue with this, as was discussed on the show. "Pornography is for a male audience...it's made by men for the enjoyment of males". This couldn't be more true! Yes, sure, women do watch porn, whether that be on purpose or simply by scrolling through websites such as Tumblr, where photos and videos are shared quite openly. But there is absolutely no denying that the vast majority of porn is made with a male gaze view, and that is where the problem lies. Pornography is vastly about admiring the sex appeal of a woman, about watching what a man is capable of doing to a woman and what a woman is capable of 'taking'. And whilst this might be enjoyable for men, it can lead to further, more serious issues later down the line. 

One woman on the show recollected on the events with her ex boyfriend who became controlling over her body and sex life once he began to watch more porn. He told her what to wear in the bedroom, how to shave herself, what to do. 

Now don't get me wrong, if you're in a consenting relationship, some people like to be dominated and told what to do- but this is always when there is a mutual understanding between partners. To be controlled by a partner because they are trying to turn their sexual relationship with a partner into a porno is a different scenario entirely and is not okay. 

Another man spoke about how he and his wife of over ten years had just divorced due to his addiction to pornography and how it had broken their relationship down, creating all kinds of problems. 

All from something that seems as harmless as pornography. 

I'm not against pornography, masturbation or having an open and exciting sex life. Whatever works for you as an individual and you with a consenting partner is fine by me. You do you, boo! But there is no denying that now, when the world is connected to more resources at a click of a button than ever before, pornography is more of a problem than a pleasure. People don't know where to stop, they struggle to define what is consensual and what is abuse, they struggle to separate fiction from fact, fantasy from reality. 

I'm no expert but something needs to be put in place for safety reasons that will make pornography more difficult to access- if not for everyone, at least for those under 16. It's disgusting that eleven year olds are watching porn on the playground. It's disgusting that 15 year old's can become addicted to it. I have no idea what but something needs to happen. We can't keep going at the rate we are because it seems that the next generation of this world will just be sex addicts. 

As I've said, I'm not against pornography (despite it completely abusing women and making them seem like sexual beings rather than actual people...). Use it with a consensual partner to liven up your sex life, watch it while you masturbate for some personal pleasure, whatever floats ya boat. But there needs to be some way to monitor an individual's use of it and an easier way to start to realise when there's a problem. 

What do you think? 

Love from,

Florence Grace